Creepy Crawly Cookie Fail

Have you seen the cookies that some people have made that look like fossils?  They're super cute, and the concept seemed pretty easy, so I wanted to make some of our own.

Except that I was also feeling very lazy.

So I went to the grocery store and bought some premade, preformed sugar cookie dough.  And then I rounded up all of our creepy crawly plastic toys (bugs, frogs, dinosaurs, whatever) and washed them.

Then, seeing as I was feeling very VERY lazy, I put ALL the cookies on one cookie sheet.  Because baking two pans of cookies was just too much effort.  (quit judging, I spent my extra time letting my kids bury me in stuffed animals while I napped, so it was total quality time.)

Then I let my little monkey help me squish our plastic creepy crawly toys into the tops of the cookies.  And yes, he has a tattoo on his face.  And his arm.  We were feeling patriotic.

Things were looking SUPER FABULOUS.  Because I thought, "This is so easy!" and also "I'm tired, I think I'll take a nap".

So we baked the cookies.  Would you like to see our awesome end results?  Here you go:

TOTAL FAILURE!

So here are some tips so that you can get it right:
1- Don't be lazy.
2- Make your own dough, something that won't rise and expand so much.
3- Use really small toys to make the impressions (I thought ours were small enough, but it would have been better to get a whole spider impression then just a part, you know?)
4- Don't be lazy.

Miraculously I saved myself from cookie humiliation by making the most delicious cream cheese frosting I've ever made in my life, and we ate the cookies anyway.